Two Sundays in a row we’ve had the privilege of sitting in the service at church.  We’ve spent so many Sundays in the past year and a half either downstairs with the children or out of town…..or sick.

But these past two, we’ve been upstairs.  Listening.  Soaking in services that seemed to be written just for us.

Broken

Letting Go

Sometimes when PW starts to speak it almost feels like God is nudging me in the shoulder from behind.  As if I might turn around and see Him sitting in the pew behind me, nodding His head gently in the direction of PW’s voice, urging me to listen and take to heart the message He meant for me to hear.

The message of brokenness.  Coming to the end of myself and letting God take those broken pieces and put them back together.  Learning that by letting go and allowing that brokenness is the only way to truly become whole.

I’ve always joked that God likes cracked pots.  With a cracked pot He can put the pieces back together.  Soothe the broken places with His mercy and His grace and His love.  Will there still be holes in the pot?  Sure.  Will it still leak sometimes?  Sure.  But when it does, when we start to feel like we’re empty and need repair, all we have to do……ALL we have to do…..is turn.  Turn back to His voice.  Turn back to His word.  Turn back to talking to Him about all of our troubles, all our hurts, all our joys.

We’re built for relationships.  We aren’t meant to be without people in our lives.  Without relationships.  Our hearts ache for relationships.  That connection between two people, that bond of friendship, love, trust.

Think about your best friend.  You’d tell him/her anything.  You know that whatever ugliness you let fly from your heart and unburden yourself with your best friend will still love you.  They’ll be right there beside you and hold you while you cry…..or scream…..or vent….or laugh.  They’ll walk beside you while you pick up the pieces of your life after a tragedy.  They’ll hold you up when you feel like you’ve given every ounce of yourself to someone or something else.

God wants to be your best friend.

I used to think that I couldn’t let God all the way into my heart and head.  Because surely He’d turn and run if He saw what was really going on in my head.  If he knew the “real” me I wouldn’t stand a chance of His loving me.  But you know what’s funny?  He already knows.  What exactly did I think I was hiding from the God of the universe?  The God who created me?  Seriously, I had a major “well duh” moment many years ago and realized He knows it already why am I trying to hide it?  When I’m angry or sad why did I feel like I couldn’t tell Him?

Trust me, God can take it.  Give Him your anger, your sadness.  Lay at His feet.  Give it up and let it go.  Don’t pick it back up again.  God is big enough.  Big enough to handle when I’m so mad I could scream, and do sometimes.  Big enough to handle the sea of tears I need to cry sometimes.  He’s waiting for us to let it go.  To admit that we are broken and at the end of ourselves.  That we are not enough to conquer this problem we’re facing.  That we recognize that by our ability alone we cannot overcome.