Mama Blog

In the beginning....

And so it begins. Katy has an awards ceremony at 11:00 and early dismissal at 12:00. Thus begins our journey into summer time.

The girls are going to give gymnastics a try this summer. If they like it they'll continue. Katy has asked (asked!!) if she can take piano lessons. I would like to get them into one of the week long swim lessons sessions later in the summer. They all need some guidance. That whole "I can't get my face wet-stop splashing me-despite that I'm in the pool and soaking wet" thing is getting old. Yes, mama, I know. Heh. I took swimming lessons as a kid (twice I think). My mom even took me back to the pool in the afternoons when she left work to practice.

Ya know, that suddenly strikes me as interestingly funny. My mom doesn't swim. She'll float around a pool all day on a float but will not swim. She was helping me learn about it despite her dislike for the activity. Her mom didn't swim either. I can swim, somewhat. Not well and not for any extended period of time, but I can. I don't feel comfortable with my ability to save them, should something happen. I'd panic. I'd panic about them and then panic about me.

Photo of the day:

Baby Girl

Two years ago I lovingly held the strawberry blonde, 9 pound, "I told you so" baby in my arms for the first time. She's grown so much I can't even believe it. She's carrying on actual conversations, understanding and doing more every day. She's one who can melt your heart one second and melt your brain the next.

We love you baby girl! Two already, where does the time.....

Cake time!

I really haven't got much to say right now. I colored my hair and, at first, it was awful. After a few washings, some sunshine, and some chlorine at water aerobics, it's looking much less "Blondie-Wanna-Be" like.

Working on invitations for the bowling party we're having for Katy and Lizzy's birthday. It's tough to word an invitation where most of the kids won't know Lizzy and you don't want them to feel obligated to get her a gift.

Still no name Nancy

I suppose I've been on an unintended blogging hiatus. Weirdly, I have had stuff to say, just didn't want to.

I heard from the doctor's office today (finally). I do have ovarian cysts. Everything else came back a-okay! Even the colon cancer screening which gave me the heebie jeebies. I have to do a repeat urinalysis tomorrow as well as a repeat ultrasound six weeks from the last one. The date ends up being around June 16th.

I'm glad we know what's going on. At least now we have an idea of where to go from here.

Not much going on really. Here's a brief rundown:

-School's almost out. Friday is a half day and then she's done.
-Lizzy turns two on Thursday.
-Katy turns seven on the 9th of June.
-Ultrasound somewhere in there.
-My mom comes for a two week visit on the 19th!! WOOT!
-Katy and Lizzy have a shared party.

Somewhere in the next few months all of the girls will be spending a week visiting with Grandma Pam and Grandpa Charles. Somewhere else in there, Katy and Em will be spending a week with Grandpa and Sweetie Pie. Somewhere else in there my (still no name Nancy??) nephew is due to make an appearance.

The Parrots

Now we all know Emily loves animals. We all know that Emily is somewhat tender hearted, specifically, when it comes to animals. Who knew just how sensitive she really was.

Yesterday, we were watching a PBS Nature movie about parrots. We made it through most of the beginning, discussing the different colors and names of various birds they'd shown. She giggled when some of the pet parrots were showing off their verbal gymnastics. Eventually, she and Lizzy could sit no longer and wandered off. I paused the movie and figured we'd finish up later.

Later came at rest time. Emily was exhausted. A late night Saturday and Sunday as well as early rising both of those days and Monday made for a girl on the edge. I knew if she laid down upstairs she'd do more playing than lying down in an effort to stay awake. To the couch she went, covered up and decided we should finish the parrot movie.

Little did I know, the ending discussed (in detail) that some pet parrots were neglected or abused to the point of, literally, going insane. Now, they didn't show any abuse or anything. They merely said those words "neglected and abused" and then showed the parrots who'd begun to repeat the same head motions over and over into a mirror. She began to sob desperately. She hopped up and ran to me, burying her face in my neck and shaking with the force of her tears. I explained that the people in the movie didn't do those things. They were trying to give those parrots a second chance at life. They were helping reintroduce the birds to other parrots of their kind and eventually getting them into a larger aviary with a few other birds. They would be able to spend the rest of their lives being loved and cared for. Eventually she calmed down as she decided to turn around when I told her they were putting them together and the birds seemed much happier there.

Who knew?

She seems to love all animals (ok, there's that insect exception) and wants to know everything about them. We bought a book about dinosaurs the other day after the ten thousandth question that I didn't know the answer to. Now we can peruse the book, discussing the pictures and whatever question she has, hopefully, I can look up for her.

Burning My Ears

Weekend plans kept us busy. Friday we left to take Katy to school and didn't make it back home until after 1:00pm. Saturday plans included a birthday party wayyyyy on the other side of Ocean Springs. Of course it was flooding when I drove out so the trip took much more time than expected. Girls had a blast though. Sunday was church, drive to Saucier to look at a place for rent, drive home, rest for 45 minutes, head back to church for Children's Choir and the PM service.

I did manage to turn my face and ears completely red and embarass myself in the middle of church. It was one of those occasions where, afterward, you think "did I just say that out loud?"

Pastor was grinning about the number of people who were there for the PM service. He made the comment "I'm glad you guys aren't dieting." Then proceeded to explain. "Seems the others only need to be fed once a day. But I think God likes us to be fed more than once a day. God likes fat Christians." (insert his silly grin)

To which I blurted out, "OH Thank God!"

I didn't realize I'd said it out loud or even loud enough for anyone else to hear until Lynn turned around (from across the aisle) and laughed. Then I realized Pastor heard me from the front. He made a comment that I can't remember due to the sound of blood rushing to my ears and briefly blocking out all sound but he was smiling when he said it. I thought Steven was going to fall off the pew he was laughing so hard.

Then after church we were invited to go to Wendy's with some other church members. Pastor had asked me to take pictures of the men of the church "doing things" (i.e. work, play) so I'd brought my camera inside the dining room. I started taking some shots and decided to try to get a good one of the pastor. I managed to catch him in mid-bite of his chili and when I realized what I'd done I really tried to stifle the laughter. But when Darla sits next to you (and she saw the picture) and starts to laugh you are toast. There's no way not to laugh. Pastor did end up seeing it and he laughted too (thank goodness). I don't think I'll post it on the site (www.northside-ag.org) though. heh

Oh dear

Since Thursday I haven't blogged. Since forever ago I haven't had much of interest to talk about here.

In two weeks, my baby will be two.

(Click for larger)

When did she grow up? And who said it was ok???

Feeling Better

I took some super duper sinus medicine last night and finally got some sleep. Steven had been kind enough to go out and pick some up because all we had was the non-drowsy version. After sleep and pressure relief I have been feeling a bit closer to human today.

I added some pictures at the photoblog. You can start here and use the next button (at the top) to move through to the last one I added.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Cough. Hack. Sneeze. Gag. Snort.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I feel like crap on a cracker, people. I have been fighting off this mess for about four days. Today, I think my castle walls have been breached.

All I wanted today was just a short chance to rest. Not even sleep, mind you, just rest. Lizzy decided she wasn't interested in napping at all. She would rather take Daddy's drawers out of the dresser, pull out two tee shirts and a pair of boxer shorts to model as the newest fashion for toddlers.

I finally gave up trying to get her to lay down with me. She and Emily are upstairs playing and half watching a movie. Lizzy needs to at least be still for a bit if she won't sleep. I was kind of hoping watching the movie would slow her down a bit. She doesn't want to sit with me. For fear of actually falling asleep, most likely.

We have a tee ball game tonight provided that it doesn't rain. If it rains we're supposed to be going to church. With Madame No-Nap and Madame Snot Head feeling the way they inevitably will by that time, I seriously doubt we will go. Steven may opt to take the big girls'.

My chest hurts from hacking and feeling like it's filled with fluid all the time. Blech blech blech.

Mama I wanna' look

Enjoying the first bite of my pizza I sat in the relative stillness of naptime. Music be-bopped from my speakers and the whir of the fan kept me company. And then one shrill scream pierces the silence.

I dash up the stairs to find Emily sobbing in the hallway outside her room. Worried that she'd hurt herself I start hugging her to check her out and ask her what's wrong.

"There's a bug! In my window!"

There was a black flying insect bouncing around the window sill. Charlotte was trying her best to catch it and have some lunch herself. I couldn't tell at that moment whether it was a wasp or yellow jacket or something harmless. Took off my shoe and squashed the little guy. Wrapped him in some tissue and started out the door.

"Mama, I wanna' look!"

Heh. She is so funny.

Seventy Six Trombones

Whoever sent the tiny brass band tribute for Mother's Day, please take them back now. The little bass drum player, Ferdinand I believe is his name, has been "thump-thump"ing around since Saturday. My head can't take much more and my sanity can't either. I haven't slept all that well since this started. I think it's either a sinus headache or a tension headache. May be crossing the lines of both. It's rough, that's all I know. I took 1500mg of Tylenol last night and not even a dent. I took some Motrin a few minutes ago so hopefully that'll shut the booger up.

Mother's Day was lovely. Katy gave me a card and a ceramic plate she made. There's a hand print with her name on it in the middle of the plate. On the edge she made tiny flowers with her fingerprints in a rainbow of colors. When I go to the store I'll pick up a plate hanger and put up on the wall. Steven and the other girls picked out two movies to give me. Little Women and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. They also gave me two adorable cards. I had nursery duty at church but even that went smoothly. I expected there would be a lot of kids there since it was Mother's Day. There were really only six and half of that number covered my girls. (No children's church yesterday) Steven helped me out again. There are always two people scheduled to work in the nursery except Sunday night. You are typically sceduled the same time each month and with the same person. Two months now and my second person hasn't shown up. I think the part that bothers me most is on that particular Sunday, this woman's husband and her mom come and they bring her daughter. Not one of them even mentions that she isn't going to be there or even why. Grrrr.

Their little girl is a doll. She's about the cutest thing I've ever seen (after my girls, obviously) and she cracks me up. She thinks Steven is just the coolest. She spent as much time as he'd allow in his lap. She babbled away and said quite a few words that were easily understandable considering she's 19 months old. Every time Steven put her down or she got down, if he stood up she was right behind him "Hooo me! Hooo me!" Too cute.

I want to start collecting some classic literature for the girls. Things like Beatrix Potter, Just So Stories, Stuart Little. I love books and the girls love to be read to. Katy, now that she knows how to read, enjoys reading by herself some of the time. I have started letting her read out loud to Emily as well. I've gathered a list of books I'd like to read over the summer, either with them or ones I'd like Katy to read.

Mama is coming in a little over a month to stay with us for two whole weeks! I'm so excited and I know the girls will just eat it up. They'll do their darndest to get thier "uppy" quotient filled during her stay. I'm sure I'll do my best to soak up the Mama-Goodness myself.

I have a ton of pictures to put up on the Photoblog. I'll work on it this week and then I'll remind you guys to have a look.

What did she see?

As I took that first sip of water this morning I knew things were going to get ugly. See, I suffer from a condition we've fondly dubbed TBS or Tiny Bladder Syndrome. I can't drink a 12 oz. soda without needing to use the restroom twice.

In order to have the ultrasound done this morning, I was required to consume 32 oz. of water beginning an hour prior to my appointment. Less than halfway through and I had begun the "pee pee dance." This did not bode well.

We drove to the hospital and as I parked the truck I realized I had quite a little walk before me. I took my first step out of the truck and knew I'd have to shuffle my way in. Every step jostled me more than I ever felt full term pregnant. We find the office, sign in and sit down to fill out some paperwork. Squirming in my seat for the next five minutes I begin to sweat. I also begin to get teary. I was not going to make it. Having experienced an ultrasound with a full bladder before told me that when the wand was placed on my belly and even a small amount of pressure was applied, things could get ugly.

The technician poked her head out and called us in. With tears in my eyes and no small amount of desperation in my voice I told her that I "wouldn't make it if I don't go just a little bit." She smiled gently and handed me a paper cup. One of those drinking cups from the water cooler which made me want to giggle. I stifled the urge for obvious reasons. "Two small cups, that's it" she said. As I shook my head in response, she pointed out the bathroom.

I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say my body wasn't thrilled with the two cup limitation. It was with sheer will that I managed to follow those instructions.

As I climbed up on the table and we prepared for the scan, I breathed a small sigh of relief. She told me that she would work quickly so as to minimize my discomfort. She did just as she promised. She never had to push very hard in order to visualize things either, which was a relief. Some pressure was needed but it was short lived. Not being much of a conversationalist throughout the procedure, the technician answered questions as we watched the grey blobs and static images on the screen. "That's your bladder and you are still very full" she said as I asked about the large black blob on the screen. I could hear her typing on the keyboard and marking things on the screen for measurements. As I saw what I thought might have been my ovary she confirmed that yes, it was my left ovary.

Nothing much else was said for the duration of the scan, save one question from her. She'd offered no other information thus far. Everything she'd said was in response to our questions. But, just before we were finished she asked "How many children have you had?" and not in a 'hey let's make conversation and chat it up' way. I responded that we had three and someone had jokingly asked Steven if I was pregnant. She said nothing else until she said she was finished.

I stood up from the table expecting to have to empty my bladder and move on to the other version. "We're all done" she said. Startled, I looked over at Steven and then her. "Weren't we supposed to do the transvag?" I asked her. "I saw everything I needed to see."

That's all I got out of her. As I practically ran to the bathroom in a sprint of joy the comments slipped from my mind. I didn't give them much thought until we'd headed out to the truck to leave.

I suppose I'll have to wait until Dr. Jones gets the results before I'll know anything. Not sure how long that will take. Hopefully not too long. I'm uncomfortable and yesterday and today I've walked around feeling huge. My stomach is puffed out and if you saw me on the street you'd guess I was 4-6 months pregnant. I'll let you all know when I know more. I promise.

Just your average cranky pants

I have been in a rotten mood. I've felt cranky and irritated, agitated and grumpy. No particular reason for this madness that I can figure. I was cranky with Steven on the phone just now, I was cranky with Emily this morning.

Despite all that life must go on.

Teeball tonight. Steven's going to the gym this afternoon. Bathe the girls, put them in bed. Spend some time cleaning up and relaxing before I go to bed. Spend the rest of the night trying to sleep. Get up get the girls ready, take Katy to school. Drive back to pick up Lynn, bring her to our house to watch the girls. Begin drinking the amount of water that my bladder will later report equalled a ten gallon drum's worth. Wait in a waiting room and try desperately not to think about bathrooms, water, or giggling. Get prepped for the ultrasound. Climb up on the table and attempt to not pee my pants as the technician presses hard enough on my belly to make me wince.

Fun stuff, eh?

Lizzy decided that a nap was out of the question today. I tried laying down with her a second time and still no dice. She's still rambling around in here, cranky as her mama. There's no way I'm going to try taking her to teeball tonight.

I'm in need of a break I guess. A regular time away from "my job" would be enough of a recharge for me. Doesn't even have to be a large amount of time, just some. I think most people would say that they need a recharge after a while. A chance to regroup and refocus helps to clear your thoughts and remind you what's important. One day we'll live close enough to family that we can plan a regular date. Even twice a month would be fabulous. Heck, even once a month would be fabulous.

Appointment I Didn't Mention

I had an appointment today with my Primary Care Manager. I wanted to discuss the persistent dull abdominal pain I've had for months. Seems to off and then on. Then briefly sharp and back to dull. Then I don't think about it for days (maybe weeks).

Dr. Jones and I discussed a multitude of symptoms (most of which I haven't had). She came up with several possibities and we discussed them. I climbed up on the exam table so she could feel around to perhaps get a better idea. Best guess is one or more ovarian cysts.

From the appointment I went to the lab to have blood drawn, a urinalysis done and was sent home with seracult slides to do at home. (Don't ask, it ain't pretty.) Dr. Jones had also told me to go up to radiology and schedule an ultrasound, which I did. My appointment is Thursday at Cedar Lake Regional. I guess Steven will take off work to keep the girls or if I can figure a way to have them babysat, he could go with me.

The Dr. also put me on the waiting list for a pap. I haven't had one since Lizzy was four weeks old. My OB in Montgomery did one (a tad early for my postpartum checkup) before we moved. When we got here, I tried scheduling another one but kept hitting road blocks. They don't perform them on down Fridays or after 3:00pm. Kids aren't allowed in the room. Um, sure, that leaves a lot of options doesn't it? She told me that making the appointment through her at Family Practice rather than the Women's Health clinic would get me seen sooner and with less hassle. She even offered to let Em and Lizzy play in her office during the "feet in the stirrups-butt in the air-strange lady with strange instruments invading Mama's private space" portion. We'll see when the appointment is and work from there.

I've spent a good deal of time this afternoon looking up treatments for cysts that do have symptoms of pain. There is an abundance of information on the type that have no symptoms. The main courses of treatment seem to fall into a couple of categories:

1) Taking birth control pills-seems to be an option if there is no pain or they don't seem to be recurring all that often.

2) Laparoscopy-drain it/them via small under the belly button incision and remove it/them.

3) Laparotomy-small incision in same region as c-section scar to remove it/them whole instead of draining.

There are other (more extreme) options but I don't think we're there yet. My ultrasound will tell exactly what we're looking at.

If I do end up having to have surgery (either sort) I won't be able to drive or lift anything heavy for a couple of weeks. How exactly do you do that with one child in school and a preschooler and toddler who want to be held??

Planning or the Lack Thereof

Lizzy's feeling much better. She's back to being the silly, fun girl we all know. She is still working on that whole tantrum thing, though. She's almost two ya know, so she's trying out her wings. heh We'll survive. We've been through this twice before, so we're dealing with familiar territory.

Steven and I were discussing yesterday how almost every base is over-manned with programmer Airmen. This is probably the main reason they're dropping eight classes. We also discussed how few programmer jobs there are anywhere any more. Take Maxwell/Gunter for instance. Until recently, you could pretty much say if you wanted to "pick" an assignment you could almost guarantee finding one there. Not so much anymore.

I know that finding an assignment near family isn't going to be easy. Moody and Robbins have very few programmer jobs. I don't really know which bases have many programmer jobs for Tech Sergeants (soon to test for Master Sergeant). We can start looking in about 6-8 months I guess. I enjoy looking at the listing of jobs even when we aren't able to apply for them. I find it interesting to note where jobs are available and where they are scarce. If Steven still wanted to cross train to ComOps (Operator) there are plenty of jobs available.

He related a story to me last night of a guy in ComOps that he'd talked to at Katy's teeball game. A close member of his wife's family has been given about a week or so to live. She's dying of a brain tumor. The squadron won't approve him leave to go. They are so severely under-manned that they can't let him go.

That's why I say if he wanted to go into ComOps they'd be glad to have him and our base options would be opened a bit wider. Main issue would be his never having done an assignment or remote overseas. If he crosstrains my guess is he'll be snagged right off the bat with a remote or overseas assignment. The assignment wouldn't be as horrible because an actual assignment would allow us to go as a family. A remote would mean he'd be off in, say, Korea for a year without us. I'm sure I could stay with family while he's gone or something but still, he'd be gone!

That's all neither here nor there anyway. I don't think he's interested in that route. We'll have to just pick from whatever programmer slots are open at the time.

Three full weeks of school left plus three in this week. Katy's excited! I'm trying to come up with regular activities that we can have sort of "scheduled" out. Katy does much better when she has a routine of some sort in place. We all do, don't we? So far I've come up with library day once a week with actual story time/book time everyday, a home version of Book It, swimming three days, swim lessons if I can get them arranged, and a regular baking day. I'm planning to work with them over the summer on learning to do one or two particular chores "properly." By that I mean, for instance, making their beds. They can straighten their bed very well, but it's never actually made up. We'll work on that this summer. How to change the sheets once a week on Friday when they make it up.

Gotta get them ready to go.