Mama Blog

Randomness

(click for larger image)

Answers and Hiatus

Kelly asked what mine and Steven's favorite colors are:
Mine-Oranges and Reds
His-Blue

Jenn asked if we'd had boys instead what would their names have been. First we'd picked Jason Ray then after my miscarriage we used it. Last pregnancy we picked Samuel Ray.

As of today, I've got to get my butt out of this chair again for a while. I'm snappy and crabby and mostly because we've been here a month and my house is still a shambles. Entirely due to me not wanting to get up and face it. So, I'll still post a bit here and then. More than likely I'll be posting pictures more than words.

Lizzy on parade

(click to enlarge)

Questions

Ok, so everyone has been doing this so I'll join right in. Email me or comment and ask a question or two. I'll gladly answer.

What's Up Doc?

Not a lot to write about right now. Just average every day things going on. Katy's loving school. She had a vocabulary test last week on a list of words she'd never even seen. She missed one. And only that because she transposed two letters.

Emily is loving her class as well. She comes home telling me how much fun she had and about her new friends. This whole situation has worked out well for us.

Lizzy likes taking the girls to school but greatly dislikes leaving. I have to take her out the door screaming just about every day.

Otherwise things are same old same old around Batesville. Yes, I am boring. Yes I am well aware of this. Just don't have much to say.

The Plane Ride

(paper journal entry written 21 Aug 04 on board flight from Salt Lake to Atlanta)

The pilot said we flew around a good bit of the bad weather. I honestly can't fathom how rough the flight would have been if we hadn't. Never before had I been that afraid.

To be blunt, on our flight from Salt Lake to Atlanta, I had an anxiety attack. Full-on, white knuckle, shallow breathing, "Honey, you have to stop shaking and take deep breaths" terror. Steven's poor hand will never be the same. When we touched down in Atlanta 3 hours and 45 minutes after the "slight chop" began, I still couldn't breathe.

We didn't board the next flight that would've taken us on to Gulfport. We would have flown back through a good portion of that weather and I just couldn't do it. After talking to the Delta agent, we chose not to wait two hours for our luggage. As calmly as I've ever seen, Steven walked to the Hertz place and rented a car. By 9:30 we were driving out of Atlanta. Spent the night in Montgomery and now we're driving home. We'll return the car and pick up our luggage and go home.

Recap of some of our Montana trip:
Since our horseback riding, we've been busy. Steven went white water rafting. Water was fairly sedate compared to their springtime rides. We went on a hike to Ousel Falls. Simply gorgeous. (Pictures here)

Monday we went on a tour of Yellowstone. No bears thist rip but we saw lots of elk, buffalo, and several bald eagles. Watched Old Faithful go off as well as a couple of smaller geysers. Lots of mudpots and what not. We did finally see a moose the day we left for Idaho.

My chief complaints:
-No air! Much gasping was experienced on walks that shouldn't have been a problem.
-Twisty, windy roads make me nervous, that's a given in the mountains. However, add pelting rain you can't even see through and, well, yuck.

Photo of the day:

Sometimes I wonder...

I wonder:

if I've scarred my kids for life....
if I do enough with them.
if I have shown them I love them enough.
if I am a good wife.
if I am a good mom.
if I will ever stop feeling so down about myself.
when I will remember who I am.
have I passed my insecurities and weaknesses to my girls.

Just random thoughts passing through my brain. Nothing serious. Not in a funk or anything to worry about. I'm actually in a good mood (well minus a mini-episode this morning) but I've been pondering myself lately. No, not my belly button lint my "self".

Basic Operating Instructions: Brain

Model # CLBat30-04
Current Condition - Over used, poorly maintained

Step 1-
Power up with a minimum of one cylinder of fuel, preferably vanilla hazelnut.

Step 2-
Be certain to disengage Auto-Foot mechanism as this leads to embarassing episodes if not properly turned off.

Step 3-
Run programs as needed: Cook, dishes, laundry, chaufeur, etc. should run without glitches early in the day.

Step 4-
Be advised, after many hours of excellent functioning Model # CLBat30-04 does have a tendency to stall. Some basic commands go undone and some basic program language seems virtually forgotten. A swift kick to the back panel typically fixes the problem.

General Warning:
Be forewarned this model has been found to have a virus in the system. Said virus causes CLBat30-04 to interrupt when others are speaking, becoming agitated for no reason and sometimes you will recieve no warning. On the rare occasion that you do recieve notice of impending virus activation you will see a menu pop up that reads as follows:

Model # CLBat30-04 is experiencing technical difficulties. Please choose one of the following options.
Basic System Malfunction - Reboot? - Y or N
Power up has failed - Refuel? Y or N
Major operating system has jumped ship and you are left with an empty shell - Delete and reformat? Y or N OR Put her to bed with a good book? Y or N

Convicted Felon or Victim of Reckless Plastic Surgery?

THIS JUST IN:

"We just aren't sure. Looks like her but is it really?" local House Sheriff Mama was quoted earlier this week. Evidence is mounting in the case as photos are being pulled from surveilience footage. Three incriminating photos have been discovered so far. Two show the suspect actively engaged in the crime scene. The other shows the suspect sporting the evidence and flaunting her escape.

Exhibit A-
(click to enlarge)

Clearly she had an accomplice, as yet unnamed.

Exhibit B-

(click to enlarge)

With our advanced imaging technology you can plainly see crime scene evidence as well as the perpetrator using the stolen goods.

Exhibit C-

(click to enlarge)

Lastly you can see the culprit escaped to a local eatery, Ma's Bistro and Extended Psychiatric Stay Facility, but forgot to leave the evidence in the getaway car.

When we spoke with the eyewitness who spotted the suspect sitting down for a meal at Ma's she told us that the culprit "just came right to the table. She sat down like everyone everywhere has bandages on their faces for no apparent reason."

As more information comes in, we'll keep you posted. This criminal, though not armed, is wily and cunning. Able to use stealth and craftiness to achieve her ultimate goal, "World Domination".

A tiny bit concerned

I'm going to make Emily an appointment at the doctor's. She's stilling much more clumsy than what I would guess is normal. She complains of her stomach and neck hurting almost every day. Until now I've guessed the stomach might be from her being hungry. Most of the time she says that we're nearing time to eat. The neck thing, not so sure.

This morning she woke up (rather early so the whine factor was at a fever pitch anyway)and began complaining of her stomach hurting before she got out of bed. Now I know she ate last night. She asked for more twice. So it wasn't like she had refused to eat dinner last night and woke up famished.

Wasn't interested in Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, orange juice or bananas. That's enough to make me call. She never refuses those. With that in mind, I'm now holding for the Peds appointment line....

.......We have an appointment this morning at 10:00. Hopefully they'll be able to figure this out. I also went ahead and made an appointment with optometry for this Thursday. I'm wondering if maybe she needs glasses. Katy got them at 4 but I could see her eye problems with the muscles not working properly. From looking at Emily I can't see a muscle issue but that doesn't mean she can see properly. She just runs into the strangest things and she does it constantly.

Edited to add: 6:45am
Who knew that even a few tiny sips of orange juice and one bite of a banana could be that messy on the way back out. Shudder.

7:25am
After she threw up she wanted cereal. Silly me thought she might have just had a one time ick so I gave her some. Not ten minutes later she threw up again. Then about five minutes after that she was dry heaving and trying to get up the last bit. Man. I hate when my kids are sick and there is nothing I can do.

Final Update: 2:31pm
Possible strep throat or tummy bug. She hasn't thrown up in a few hours and she seems to be feeling perky at the moment. I've been giving her small amounts of ginger ale and bagel every 15 minutes or so to see if she can keep it down. So far so good.

Monday Madness

1. My computer chair is the most used piece of furniture in my house.
2. The one electronic 'gadget' that I use most often is my coffee maker/grinder.
3. My favorite appliance, and the one I absolutely cannot live without is the computer of course.
4. One thing that I thought I just HAD to have at one time, and I now barely ever use, is my blender.
5. I find it easiest to keep in touch with family and friends via phone or email.
6. I own more cd's (or other music media) than I do ??.
7. All my important addresses are stored in/on my Outlook Contacts (or where, I'm rebuilding).
8. If I had to live without TWO keys on my keyboard, I would choose # and *.
9. I probably own about five pieces of software that I haven't used in years.
10. There are a few food items that I try NEVER to run out of, and those would be Pepsi (Edge now), bananas, apples, and coffee.

Briefs

Random tidbits.

-Only a few minutes left before I need to wake the girls. Lizzy's up eating cereal already.
-Today is Katy's first day back at private school.
-No, I didn't announce our intentions.
-It's a better fit for us.
-Daybed will be delivered today.
-A/c part should be here this week.
-I'm not sure that I've ever understood the power of words to the extent God's teaching me right now.
-Sometimes, teaching hurts.
-In the end, all of it turns out well, even if there are growing pains.
-Our mail forward finally kicked in.
-5:00am comes waaaaay too early some days.
-Considering checking out Curves. Anyone ever been? What did you think?
-Went for a bike ride with Steven and the girls yesterday. Was fun but Em's one training wheel had a loose bolt. Every few hundred yards we had to stop and tighten it by hand until we could get home.
-Steven's triathalon is coming up soon!!

Safe and Sound, in pictures

We're home and we're safe. Less damage here than where we evacuated to. What follows is a pictorial of our adventure. (click the image to enlarge)

On our seven and a half hour drive to Montgomery (almost twice normal driving time) Daisy gave me the evil eye.

And, despite our late arrival time of 11:09pm, I'll bet you can guess who was still awake.

She's pointing and telling me "Katy and Em s'eepin', Mama."

We got checked in, fell asleep only to be woken at 3:00am by tornado sirens. Then asleep again until 6:30 when the power started blink on and off. We lost power about 8:30 or so. Here's a view of our tiny space after powerloss.

And what do you do (for a while at least) when the power is out and you have three small children with oodles of energy, two neurotic cats hiding under the beds, two adults who are getting cranky and little room to move? You play games....

...at least until the novelty wears off. Then, my friend, you break out the light sticks.

And then mama follows them around. "Look Lizzy," Em says with awe, "the toilet waters looks cool!"

Then we all got goofy..

When the worst was behind us, we called Pam. They had no power but they could cook on their gas stove. We went over, they were nice enough to feed us and then we played a bit. Finally decided to go to Memaw's since she had power. We took the girls out to play in the rain and use up some of that pent up energy.

We went back to the hotel, had power, got a good night's sleep and headed home Friday morning. Easy drive, saw lots of damage between Montgomery and Mobile.

That's about it.

Safe

Christy and family arrived in Montgomery about 10:30 last night. They are safe and sound.

Gettin' Outta' Dodge

After I finish my to do list (things to bring with us, things to secure on the homefront, go by the bank, come back for cats after I get a carrier) we're leaving. The girls and I are driving up to Montgomery (which, oddly enough, is still in the "cone of uncertainty")and we'll try to head back here some time on Friday. Unless Steven calls me after he gets to work and tells me they're allowing him to leave today, he won't be able to leave with us. He'll have to wait for them to let him go and then he'll meet us there.

Pam was gracious enough to hunt down a hotel room for us. I'm sure she found one of the few remaining in any decent area of town. Most of Steven's coworkers are heading to Montgomery as well. The ones who aren't staying with family found hotel rooms in rather seedy areas but they at least have a roof over their heads.

Looking over our list of things to remember to take this morning, Steven and I both noted the fact that so few "things" seem important in life when faced with these types of decisions. Go through a mental list of the things in your life and imagine having to evacuate your home. You know there's a very real possibility that when you return your things could be badly damaged or flooded or just plain gone. What would you consider important enough to take with you? When you look at it that way, the list becomes short and the most important things in your life come into focus. I just thought of something. I have very few photographs of my dad and those pictures are the only physical reminders I have of him. I'm planning to take some of our pictures with us, but those are must take/can't replace things. Goodness....

So, kiss your loved ones today/tonight. Tell them how much you love them. Thank God for your homes and your creature comforts and say a prayer for those who've lost so much already. Say another prayer for the safety of those still faced with the storm to come. I pray that each of you is safe, surrounded by the ones you love, and that God will keep His hand upon you.

I'll take the cell phone with me if anyone needs to get in touch with us or wants to check on us. Otherwise, I'll see you guys on the flip side.

Why do I feel afraid?

(Sunday)
Why do I feel afraid to tell people what I think or feel? Why do I feel unable to admit when I have just "had enough" of something? Is my mental state and stability worth the high ideals that I want to embrace but can't carry through?

Pensive and quiet today, yes I am.

We're slowly coming out of our box covered hole. Sort of funny that I may have to evacuate due to Ivan and pack some of it back up. Crazy hurricane season we're having. Steven's parents and grandparents both live in Daytona and have had damage from Hurricane Frances. I'm fairly certain we'll be evacuated unless Ivan just disappears or turns back out to sea miraculously.

We spent a short stint in the ER yesterday. Again. With Lizzy. She gets nursemaid's elbow fairly easily. The guy who was putting her elbow back into position took the time to show Steven how to do it properly if it happens again. Weird.

(Monday)
Becky and Craig are coming to visit this weekend, assuming we're here and not evacuated because of Ivan. Just looked at the site and the new spot listed for Ivan to hit land is Mobile. That's 45 minutes from here. Steven says we'll make a decision tonight or tomorrow about whether I should take the girls and go ahead to our evacuation point. He'll bring the truck a bit later. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Not much going on in other news, well, not that I want to openly discuss. I need to get the girls and myself some breakfast.

I think I need some help

Hard for me to admit? Very.

Needed? Very.

Sometimes I wonder if depression is the right diagnosis. My pendulum seems to swing in a much wider arc than what one would consider "normal" for depression.

Normal. Heh. What is that anyway?

I tend to feel unprepared, unqualified, and incapable. Ugh. Let's not go down that road today....

******Subject Change ala Speedbump Style***********

This computer will be facing a total reformat. Tonight. If we lose it completely, then we lose it. We're planning to buy a new one in a week or so but were hoping this one would stick around for other purposes.

I've got some blog entries from our trip to put up. I'd like to put them up in order but the ones I'd typed on the laptop need to be retrieved first. I've got the one paper entry (the one about that all-mighty panic attack on the plane) right here but things will be out of any sort of order if I post it first.

What else, what else? Steven is training for a triathalon in October. I'm very excited for him. He'll be participating with Becky and Craig and a few other people they know. Very exciting stuff, really.

Speaking of Steven and his "list", the current count of things "to do before I die" is growing lengthy. Ride a bull. Mini eco-challenge. Hang glide. You get the picture. His friend at work wrote on Steven's list "Mid-life Crisis" Ha!

I think my goal should consist of the following:
-Increase confidence and feeling of self-worth
-Walk in and finish a 5K. (Don't care about winning, just finish.)
-Get weight down into AT LEAST the overweight portion of the chart. (Currently resides in the Obese portion. UGH!)

Doable?

This is Not a Fig Newton of Your Imagination

This just in....

Federal Military Housing Project "Clean and Clear" has been completed! All paperwork has been filed and completed by the proper authorities. Occupants are free to go. New residence estabished, though merely habitable at the moment. New project "Hang and Sort" underway. Estimated date of completion: February 2006.

She's alive!

I promise Christy is alive and well. I spoke to her just two days ago. She said her puter and net are not hooked up yet but did not tell me when that might actually be. She was painting the old house when we talked. She said they are actually living in the new house.

Just wanted to let everyone know she is alive and has not dropped off the face of the earth or been swept away by a hurricane.

~Dj