Mama Blog

Shutting down

As of tonight I won't be online for any purpose outside of email or work until we're moved and settled in. There's too much to do and I'm too easily sucked into this thing. I've considered shutting it all down and getting off the net. Too much of my day gets sucked in here and my family deserves better. My children deserve my time and attention. My husband deserves to come home to a house that (at the least) doesn't look as though a bomb went off in it and to a hot meal (most days).

I've let this become my life. I've played out my whole life here for three years. The computer was my escape when we first moved here and I was thankful for the outlet it provided. Now, it's become a leech. I don't feel good when I get up from reading here on the net. I get up feeling down or angry or frustrated. There's always drama in real life and on the net and on the net I just can't seem to stop watching the train wreck.

Who knows, I may decide after my time away that I prefer not blogging regularly anymore. I may decide to rip the whole thing down and put up a photos only space. I don't know. I don't want to know. I do want to hear my kids laugh, watch them grow, teach them about life and nature and how beatiful God's love is and how precious they are to him and to me. I want to see my husband relaxed when he comes home. I want him to feel like things at home are taken care of so he can do the things he wants to do without feeling like we're a burden.

With that, I'm off to pack and live and laugh and learn and love. Stay safe, stay sane, enjoy life, kiss your husband, hug your kids.

Inspections and Extensions

We have a house inspection this afternoon. I spent most of this morning trying to clean house. I cleaned the closet where the cat litter is because I'm always terrified it smells like,well, cat litter. Used spot cleaner, used Bissell, used vacuum. Took litter box, mat that goes underneath and scoop out to the yard. Hosed them off, bleached them out and returned them to the closet. I scrubbed the floors in the dining room and the kitchen, with a bucket and a sponge.

Steven says this inspection is just about structural things with the house, termites, holes, carpets, appliances, etc. I still can't get past the idea that the house needed to be cleaned for him to come. Well, at least it's clean, right?

Bunko is tonight and I'm happy for the opportunity to hang out with my girlfriends and laugh. I'm feeling somewhat disconnected lately.

About the extension part....we aren't leaving in February/March anymore. Steven's tour here was extended to a full four years, so we can leave in June of 06.

A Few Pictures to Satiate You

(click for larger image)

Katy's new braces (at least the beginning four anyway)

Emily lost her first tooth. I have no idea why we needed to view her entire dental structure though.

Evidence of Lizzy's "haircut".

Um, yeah. In a bit of a hurry now

We got a certified letter in the mail yesterday. From our landlord in Vegas who has decided to sell the property we currently rent from him.

We now have 30 days from yesterday to be out.

Nice huh?

We tried contacting him for over a week and wanted to give him about 5-6 weeks for us to get out, get things ready for next tenants or owners and us time to get things squared away and moved to the base house.

Needless to say (but I will anyway) I'll be somewhat scarce over the next few weeks. I've got to pack up some things that won't get unpacked until we PCS next year. I've got to pack some things that will only need to move across town. I've got to do school work with the children, which for the most part this month will involve lots of reading to and with them, narrations on the books from Katy (oral book report type things), and some handwriting practice. Everything else will be in the Occupational Education Department (aka home training for future women, wives, and moms). :)

I'm trying to stay positive in this. It's a bit rushed and harried. Steven has his usual laid back "it'll all be fine, we've got oodles of time" attitude. He sees things in the big picture as though the tiny details don't exist or cause a problem. I see the big picture filtered through those tiny details and I think "Oh good Lord! We've only got three weeks to pack up all this stuff in a reasonable manner so that when we move I can find all the necessary parephenalia to homeschool, clean house, wash clothes, cook meals, do yard work and have a calm 6ish months before we turn around and do it all again."

(Yes, it's a huge run on sentence. Whataboutit??? Haha!)

With that said, I must get off my tookus and get this room cleared up and cleaned out and packed. Fun fun, I say.

Leave this space blank....

Totally blank.

That's how I feel right now. I'm tapped out today. I don't feel good. My children are, well, children. I've blown up at least once today. I had to go and apologize because it was very wrong for me to behave that way.

I've got to get a handle on myself. As of today, I'm going back on the two doses a day of my meds. Maybe that will help.

Maybe a shower would help.

Or a nap.

We're moving back into base housing. Not the two story like we had before. A one story 3 bedroom, 2 bath dealie and we're hoping to get the house connected to Lynn's duplex. WOOT!

The landlord is sending someone today to "inspect the property". I assume he wants to look for damage or something. This place is in better shape now than when we moved in. Steven's going to stay here for the inspection and I'm going to the store.

It's too hot in here for me to make coherent thoughts. I'm done.

The Boy's Birthday (and some extra stuff thrown in for good measure)

Debra has done it again.

Why do I become stressed about this move and all the myriad decisions that go along with it? Because I feel the need to have some control over it. When will I get it through my head that if I lay it all at His feet and leave it there, not to be picked up and reexamined and fiddled with, truly left it there, that His ways are so much better than anything I could have come up with?